Watch Your Own Kids, Pretty Please

Every once in a while, I like to get my soapbox out and stand on it for a bit.  Today is one of those days...

It was a gorgeous day yesterday, so I decided to take the girls to the park after I picked Grace up from school.  We picked up some drinks at Wendy's and were on our way to play until dinnertime.  When I got there, there was only one other child, a 4-year old girl who played while her grandmother sat on a bench with her face buried in a newspaper. 

About 10 minutes after we got there, the grandmother packed up her newspaper, got up from her bench, and walked to her car.  She didn't say ANYTHING to her granddaughter.  She just left.  Her granddaughter ran after her, probably worried that she was going to be left behind.  After a while, the little girl came back to the play area, while her grandmother sat in her car.

Now the parking lot is probably 70-100 yards away from the play area.  Not really all that close.  So for the next 20 minutes, I am left to watch and play with my girls, and now this other kid... It came to a point when I realized that I didn't want to be responsible for someone else's child.  I shouldn't be.  But I was left responsible.  Because obviously a 60+ year old lady can't watch her own granddaughter.

Two things made me upset... 1- I was left to watch a kid who wasn't mine.  Not to mention I didn't know her at all.  2- The grandmother made a choice not to be involved with her granddaugther's play.  Seems awful selfish and unloving to me.

So I left with my girls... with the other little girl trailing behind us to our car.  As I walked by the grandmother, who was now yelling at the little girl to get in the car, I did say something... something to the effect "you can't just leave her like that".  Of course she said she was watching.  Whatever.

We used to go to a park closer to our house.  But I haven't been there in 2 years, because every time I would go, I would end up "watching" every one's children while they sat in a pavilion and hung out with their friends.  Now it's one thing if you have a 8, 9, or 10 year old... but don't leave your toddlers alone.  And don't expect another adult to watch them.

I'm kinda thinking it would be a good, yet passive aggressive idea to get a sweatshirt just for park trips... it could read on the back I'm watching my own kids.  I don't want to watch yours.  Any betther ideas?

The Baby Question

Source: ravelry.com via Michelle on Pinterest

After you're married for about a year, everyone starts asking when you and your husband are going to have a baby.  Everyone wants to know.

And then you have a baby and everyone seems happy with that.

Until that baby is about 1 1/2 and then everyone starts asking when you're going to have another baby.

Well, Autumn is nearing that age.  She's apparently old enough to need/want a younger sibling.

So, everyone's been asking.

I don't usually mind.  But sometimes the question just feels like more pressure.

So here it is:  Yes.  We would like more kids.  Maybe 1 or 2.

But now just isn't the right time.  We are trying to be smart about everything and make sure life is in order.  As much as life can be in order.

Don't worry.  We will tell you when the time is right.

Hope & Comfort

(image from Norma Peace Stuff)

I've written before about Jessica at {Mis}Adventures of a Lifetime.  She inspired me about a year ago to take the jump into blogging and over the last few months has gone through a lot of personal struggles.

I've really appreciated her honesty during this deeply personal time and her willingness to open her life to the blogging world.  Jessica's been on my heart these past few months, and often comes to mind.  Although I've never met her, I pray for her often - specifically that she would find God's purpose in all that's happened recently.

Last week she wrote a beautiful post about her struggle with depression and her journey through it.  I have struggled with depression some while I was in college and I know it can be a very dark time, especially when you only look within yourself.  Jessica's perspective through this is refreshing and I'm encouraged to see where God is taking her.

One of my favorite passages in Scripture is in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7.  It says:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.  If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings we suffer.  Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort." 

What an awesome promise.  We can find purpose in our suffering, because God promises that we can someday comfort others who may be going through similar heartache.  Time and time again, God has given me opportunity to share about my own struggles so that I can not only comfort those who are hurting, but offer some kind of hope.  We will be buried in self-pity while in our own struggle if we don't believe there's purpose sometime in the future.



Oprah: The Bravest Families in America

I stumbled on The Oprah Show today while I was at home with the girls.  I don't always watch Oprah, usually because PBS trumps any show that I may want to watch, but today, I had control of the clicker.

If you didn't see it, she did a show titled "The Bravest Families in America" and had on First Lady Michelle Obama, Tom Brokaw and Bob Woodward.  The main point to the show was that our troops come home to a society that doesn't know how to support them.  They also talked about the unique struggle of military families at home while their soldier is deployed and the difficult transition that takes place post-deployment.

First Lady Michelle Obama talked about an extensive initiative that she and Jill Biden are working on to better support military families in all levels of government.  That initiative is scheduled to launch in March.

If you didn't watch the episode, take a look at the website where main points of the episode are highlighted.

Oprah gave a great voice to a cause that most of us know too well.  I can't wait to hear more about what the First Lady is working on later this Spring.

Let Me Get This Off My Chest

Joel's homecoming is coming up soon...  I always get asked the same questions again and again during this point in a deployment, so I thought I would just very quickly give some answers to those questions.

1.  When will he be home?
Soon.  That's about as much as I know at this point.

2.  How long will he be home for?
I have no idea.  The military isn't big on a "five year plan" for military families.

3.  Will he have to go back?
Probably.  The military doesn't issue punch cards.  Joel doesn't have to do "x" amount of deployments to satisfy the government.

4.  When will he be done?
He loves what he does so we don't have a time frame.

5.  Why does he re-enlist?  Hasn't he deployed enough?
It is ultimately his decision to make whether he re-enlists.  Again, he loves what he does and he's good at it. 

Those are the big questions I get and yes, I know I sound pretty curt.  Honestly though, I don't mind most of the questions...  I understand that 95% of our friends and family aren't military and we're a Guard family, so I will admit to knowing less than many out there about the confusing web that is military life.  But I will say very honestly here that I do get kind of annoyed that people assume that people who are in the military should only do so much.  They should only be gone for so long, they should only go on one or two deployments within a career...  That logic doesn't make sense to me.  Why would it make sense for a military member to only go on two deployments within a career or only have a few years in before they get out?  I know that some do and I'm fine with that, but if the majority of the military was like that, we'd have a very young and very immature military.  We need people who have many, many deployments under their belt and have had many, many years in so that we can have a strong, solid and mature military.  Why can't my husband want to be a part of that?

When I tell people that Joel's most likely going to stay in for 20+ years, I hear a sigh from them about 70% of the time.  It hurts me.  I get mad.  They act like my husband's deployments and service are somehow a burden to them.  Maybe they're sick of me talking about deployments???  I don't know.  I just don't get it.  This is his career.  This is the life that we've chosen together.  We fully know the cost of this lifestyle.  But I think it's an honorable one.

So, please forgive me for sounding so curt.  I'm mostly a nice person.  Promise.

But right now, I'm just looking forward to him being home.  I can't wait to settle back into a normal marriage and a normal routine with our family.   I just want to enjoy this time and not feel, in some way, that I have to defend the life that we lead.