Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 13

Happy Sunshiny Wednesday!  We have lots to discuss...

First of all, the bad news - I did not lose weight... But I have some good news..

I went in yesterday to see my doctor - and Praise the Lord, my thyroid levels are 100% A-OK.  I always get nervous going in, but I've now lived for over 9 years with only half a thyroid that is kicking-booty and doing it's job well.  During my appointment, I talked with the doctor about my struggles to lose weight over the past 13 weeks.  We discussed my workouts and my eating routine.  She told me, first off, that I'm perfectly healthy and that I didn't need to lose weight.  But she also said that she doesn't quite understand why with my workouts and limiting my calories to about 1,590/day why I'm still not losing weight.

She suggested that one reason could be that I'm not taking in enough calories for the amount that I'm working out.  She is weaning me off a medication this month - a prescription that can prevent weight-loss.  So, we are going to re-visit this in 6 weeks and go from there.  At that point, she may refer me to a dietitian.  Have any of you seen a dietitian while on Tricare?

A friend of mine offered to sit down with me and go over my diet and see if there are tweaks that can be made.  I'm going to take her up on that.  Another friend contacted me this week and gave me some great suggestions about boosting my metabolism by adding in more strength training and limiting my carbohydrates.  I've changed both of those things this week.  I'm still struggling with saying adios to my beloved carbs, but I've started eating lots more fresh fruits and vegetables and eating a lot more lean-protein and good fats.  So, many thanks to my great friends!
 
Here are my workouts this week

Friday -

60 minutes of cardio including the Arc Trainer and walking

30 minutes of strength training

Monday -

30 minutes of cardio on the Elliptical Machine

35 minutes of strength training

Tuesday -

30 minutes of walking (non-gym day)

Wednesday -

60 minutes of walking (non-gym day)

I Found a Few New Friends in Army Wives

Since Joel went to Iraq the first time, I always get asked whether I watch Army Wives.  Mostly, it's non-military who ask me... maybe they assume since I'm a milspouse that Army Wives has to be my #1 can't-miss show.  But since we live all fancy-like and don't have cable, I've never seen it.  But now we're living like royalty and have Netflix, so I've been able to watch all the cable shows I've heard so much about.  For some reason, though, I could never bring myself to watch Army Wives.

Last week I decided to see what all the talk was about.  And I'm now officially 100% hooked.  I've been watching a few episodes each night and have cried more over the last few nights than I have since Joel was deployed last year.  Seriously. 

I can see why so many milspouses are hooked.  Although there is a whole lot of drama in that little group of army wives, there are so many things that are completely relatable, heartwarming and heartbreaking.  Since we don't live on post/base, I don't have a lot of military friends.  Most of my friends are civilians.  And if it weren't for the milspouse blogging world, I would know only a handful of military wives and families.  So, during Joel's deployments, I've leaned on family and friends.  And I love them.  They try, hard, to empathize - but there's a lack of understanding for the military lifestyle that make them unable to sympathize with our life, our separations and our struggles.

One thing that's really moved me about the show is the sense of community amongst the group of friends.  They all truly understand each other's emotions.  They know, by just a look, why there's a distance in their friend's eyes while her husband is away.  They know what to say and not to say when their friend's marriage is struggling because of the stress of deployments.  They fill in the gaps when their friend's husband is at war.

Since we are Guard, we have very limited interactions with other military families.  Mostly because we don't live on post so we're not involved with each other on a daily basis.  But I really want that to change.  I need it to change.  At this point in our military life, I really need a community around who understand the emotions and the stresses of this lifestyle.  I've finally connected with a few families from Joel's unit and it's so refreshing to have other women who understand our husband's "shop-talk" and lifestyle.  It's taken 8 years for me to finally feel that I have a few other military wives in my life, who live in the same town, who I can talk openly with about the good and bad of this life.

I really want to make a commitment to that - to work on forming relationship with other military families.  I want my kids to know other military kids.  I want to do better to reach out to other women who may be struggling in their marriage post-deployment (just like Joel and I have) and offer some support and encouragement.  I just want to be better connected and bonded.

After sifting through all the drama, Army Wives has taught me that in order to survive and thrive in this lifestyle, we need to depend on each other.

10 Things to Smile About: November

1.  My newest niece, Paige!

2.  Watching Gracie as The Little Red Hen in the Kindergarten musical.  She did awesome!

3.  Catching Autumn reading my US Weekly.  Yeah, we're both intellectuals.

4.  Starbuck's Carmel Brulle Lattes.

5.  Lots of great time at the gym with one of my dearest friends.

6.  Nearing completion of my Christmas shopping.

7.  Friend dates.  Karla and I had dinner out at one of our favorite restaurants and then cheered Bella and Edward

on at their wedding.  It was a perfect night.

8.  Eggnog season is here!

9.  Thanksgiving dinner.  It was awesome.

10.  Getting our first real Christmas tree.  Grace helped Joel bring it home for us & Joel's thrilled to finally have a real one this year!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

Another fill-in-the-blank week brought to you by Wife of a Sailor.  Join the fun!

1.My favorite thing that happened this week was being able to have 2 lunch dates with dear friends.


2.Find a penny, pick it up and all day long you’ll wonder what gross person dropped the penny and what germs came along with it.

3.Autumn is officially here and my favorite part of the season is the trees changing colors.  (I love fall so much, I named my daughter Autumn!)

4.One of the things I’d like to do before winter arrives is paint my purple front door blue (please, honey!!!).

5.I –would/would not/might– be willing to participate in MilSpouse Secret Santa. (No offense, Wife of a Sailor - I think it's a lovely idea...  we're just on a super strict budget right now.)

Bible in 90 Days - More Details

SOME BACKGROUND
On May 11th (that's just 8 days away!!) I'm going to start reading through the entire Bible, finishing August 9th!  Several months back, one of my dearest friends told me about the movement to read through the Bible - it's a movement to get those who have never read the Bible to read it and it's also an opportunity for Christians to dive-in to God's Word.

I knew the moment that my friend, Karla, brought this up that I wanted to do it - badly.  Joel was still overseas at the time, so I emailed him that night and asked if he would do this with me when he came home.  He was on-board.  So, right now, Karla, Joel, me and several other friends are going to start this together, and hopefully in doing so, keep each other accountable.

WHY?

I've read through the Bible before... my first year of college, I went to Bible college and one of the requirements was to read through the Bible during the academic year.  I did it.  But I can't say that I really enjoyed it.  At that time, I was in college-level Bible classes all day and felt, in a way, overwhelmed by reading more of the Bible. 

Over the years, my faith has grown.  Actually I would say that in the last year or so, my faith has grown by leaps and bounds.  I'm stronger in my Christian walk now than I've been before.  I clung to Scripture when Joel was gone and read and studied most of the New Testament. 

I also have a tendency to read and study the New Testament over the Old Testament.  I get lost in the names, dates and history of the Old Testament - and the New, often just seems more applicable to my life.  It may feel that way, but I know that isn't the case.

So, this is an opportunity to read through the parts of Scripture that seem harder, more difficult, less warm and fuzzy...

WHAT'S THE POINT
First of all, the point is not to come away from this experience, on August 9th and have complete comprehension of what you just read.  That just is an impossibility.  The point isn't to have a stack of commentaries next to you to examine every detail.... 

For me, the point of this is to:
1)  Spend my summer in God's Word, rather than some easy-breezy stack of fiction
2)  Come away from this experience with a better and more clear view of Who God is
3)  Understand the relevance of the Old Testament to the New Testament
4)  Have a better understanding of the themes that Scripture shows us
5)  Come together with my friends and family and discover God's truths together

WHO CAN JOIN?
Everyone and anyone!  Really, I'd love for you to consider joining!!!  Whether you're a devout Christian, a wavering Christian or have never picked up the Bible, I hope that you'd consider where this journey may take you.

WHAT'S THE PLAN?
I have a reading schedule selected.  On average, we will be reading between 12 and 16 chapters a day. 

On Sunday night, I will post a reading schedule for the coming week - from Monday to the following Sunday.  I will also post a few of my own thoughts about the Scripture reading from the week before and invite you to share what you've learned and what God has shown you through His Word.

I want to this to be interactive.  As I read and grow, I really want to know what you've been learning, too!


So, there's 8 days to go!  Praying that you'd consider joining us!

 

Let Me Get This Off My Chest

Joel's homecoming is coming up soon...  I always get asked the same questions again and again during this point in a deployment, so I thought I would just very quickly give some answers to those questions.

1.  When will he be home?
Soon.  That's about as much as I know at this point.

2.  How long will he be home for?
I have no idea.  The military isn't big on a "five year plan" for military families.

3.  Will he have to go back?
Probably.  The military doesn't issue punch cards.  Joel doesn't have to do "x" amount of deployments to satisfy the government.

4.  When will he be done?
He loves what he does so we don't have a time frame.

5.  Why does he re-enlist?  Hasn't he deployed enough?
It is ultimately his decision to make whether he re-enlists.  Again, he loves what he does and he's good at it. 

Those are the big questions I get and yes, I know I sound pretty curt.  Honestly though, I don't mind most of the questions...  I understand that 95% of our friends and family aren't military and we're a Guard family, so I will admit to knowing less than many out there about the confusing web that is military life.  But I will say very honestly here that I do get kind of annoyed that people assume that people who are in the military should only do so much.  They should only be gone for so long, they should only go on one or two deployments within a career...  That logic doesn't make sense to me.  Why would it make sense for a military member to only go on two deployments within a career or only have a few years in before they get out?  I know that some do and I'm fine with that, but if the majority of the military was like that, we'd have a very young and very immature military.  We need people who have many, many deployments under their belt and have had many, many years in so that we can have a strong, solid and mature military.  Why can't my husband want to be a part of that?

When I tell people that Joel's most likely going to stay in for 20+ years, I hear a sigh from them about 70% of the time.  It hurts me.  I get mad.  They act like my husband's deployments and service are somehow a burden to them.  Maybe they're sick of me talking about deployments???  I don't know.  I just don't get it.  This is his career.  This is the life that we've chosen together.  We fully know the cost of this lifestyle.  But I think it's an honorable one.

So, please forgive me for sounding so curt.  I'm mostly a nice person.  Promise.

But right now, I'm just looking forward to him being home.  I can't wait to settle back into a normal marriage and a normal routine with our family.   I just want to enjoy this time and not feel, in some way, that I have to defend the life that we lead.

200 Days

We made it 200 days.  Honestly, I was hoping that Joel would somehow be home before this point, but we're here.

I know many of you have gone through many, many more days than 200.  You've done 12 and 16 month deployments.  We haven't.  Joel's longest deployment was just shy of 180 and I was done at that point.

But 200 still seems like a huge number and a giant feat.  200 days without my husband here has been hard.  I've been working hard to maintain the household and take care of our two girls at the same time.  I've tried hard to honor Joel by keeping things up here as good as if he were here with me.  The house is clean, the laundry is all done and mostly put away.  We've been on time for all our appointments and Grace hasn't been late for school.  The refrigerator is packed with good, nutritious food and I've managed to still make homemade meals... well, at least a few times a week.  The girls have been bathed, fed, tickled, cuddled, read to and have had millions of kisses. 

I've even managed to look out for me.  I've read more in the last few months than I have in years.  I've made time to keep up with my friendships and I've worked hard to grow some relationships that have been sadly neglected. I've grown spiritually...  I've learned to trust God more, to continually seek His wisdom and to rest in the peace that only He can offer.  My relationship with Him is stronger now than I can ever remember it.

But with all that said, I am tired.  Worn out.  Exhausted.  And emotionally, I'm done.

Joel's homecoming is around the corner.  It is getting so close, but even though I know we're near the end, it still feels like he'll never be home.

I have much to do before I can leave to bring him home.  I have meals to prepare and freeze.  I have a pile of paperwork and mail to organize so that he can go through it.  And I have to clean our room.  Our room has somehow become the dumping place for half-done projects.  It's my fault, I'm not going to try to pin in on one of the kids... although Grace has started "moving in" to our room.  So, that is my week's goal.  Clean our room.  Tomorrow.  It can wait one more day.

Support Project Love Day

One of my best friends, Karla, has a food blog called The Culinary Enthusiast.  Besides being a wonderful wife and momma of three awesome kids, she has a major love for food.  She's that friend who makes things from scratch and doesn't find it some sort of torture.  She loves to cook and bake and her kitchen is hands-down one of my favorite places to be.

During the months of January and February, Karla is donating all of the ad revenue she receives and will match it.  The money will go to support World Vision, which is working to end human trafficking. 

As you know, human trafficking is a hot topic - millions of women and children are sold into slavery and forced to do unspeakable things.  By simply visiting Karla at The Culinary Enthusiast and looking at some  yummy recipes, you can help to financially support an organization that is trying to end human trafficking.

You can read more about why she is choosing to do this now and what the money will go to, here.

Here are some of my favorite recipes that I've had the pleasure of eating, straight from Karla's kitchen:

Blueberry Scones
Cinnamon Rolls
Cranberry Orange White Chocolate Biscotti

A Gentle Reminder - Thanks God

So I wrote this post earlier this afternoon....it's all about going to God first when things are good, bad and ugly.  God wants to be the first "person" you go to...

So, just a few hours after I wrote this I was on my way out for a girls-only night.  I went to pick up my friend for dinner and within a few blocks of my house I got into an accident.  The side roads were really icy, and as I was driving, another car simply couldn't stop at an intersection and our cars collided.  Thankfully, no one was hurt, and neither car was damaged too much.  My first reaction was to pick up the phone and vent to my friend who I was about to pick-up.  But instead, I remembered what I had just written and decided to take a moment, get back in my car and pray.

God, thank You for keeping all of us safe.
Thank You that no one was hurt.
Thank You for protecting us, because it could have been worse.
Let this all work out.
Help me to remember that there are bigger things in the world then a little accident.

Within thirty minutes we were all on our way.  I picked up my friend and we met another friend for dinner and shopping.  It was great to be with them tonight and to laugh with them.  I needed to laugh and they delivered.  Thank God for dear friends.

So sorry, Joel.  The Dodge is going to need another bumper.  Poor car has had it's share of new bumpers.

Who Do You Go to?

Christmas is behind us, but I've still been in a very reflective mood lately.  I've spent this deployment reading through much of the New Testament and time and time again, I'm reminded how amazing Christ's entrance into this world was.  I mean, for God to come as an infant... really, that's amazing, and just the beginning of how He displayed time and time again, His willingness to humble Himself for us...

But I digress on the purpose of this post.  One part of the Christmas story that always gets to me, is what happens right after Mary was told by the angel that she would conceive and give birth to the Messiah.  There are a few verbs that stand out, describing Mary's evolution of reaction:  troubled (Luke 1:29), confused (Luke 1:34) and humbled (Luke 1:38).  After the angel left her, Luke says that Mary got ready and hurried to see Elizabeth, her friend.  Mary had just received the most troubling, confusing and humbling news and her first reaction was to immediately go and see her dear friend.

How many times in our own life do we get news, however joyful or troubling, and our first reaction is to run to those who know our hearts?  I can think of so many times when I've immediately called my mom, sister, or dear friends.  You just have to talk to someone - either to release the burden or share the joy.

These last six months, with Joel overseas have been overwhelming.  Both in the best and worst ways.  I'm so thankful for those few who are close to me who I can run to and spill my hurt, sorrow, joy, happiness and raw emotions with.  There have been times when I simply do not think I can hold it together for one more second and it means the world to me to know that there are those who really know my heart and are willing to see me at my worst or celebrate with me when things are at their brightest.

I've been reminded these last few months, how God yearns for us to hurry to Him.  As easy as it is to pick up the phone or ask a friend to meet you last minute when your heart is hurting and your mind is confused, God wants so badly for us to go to Him.  Not only does He want it, He expects it.  James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."  It sounds pleasant enough.  But it's more than just a feel-good statement. It's a command (look at the surrounding verses in chapter 4). 

So, I'm trying.  As easy as it is when I'm stressed, troubled and confused to just pick up the phone, I need to go to Christ first.  He needs to be the first Person who I spill my emotions to.  He wants to know my heart and understand what burdens it.  And even when Joel comes home, God still needs to be my first stop.  Joel's second, but God has to continue to be first.

My Baby's 6 Months!

Autumn turned 6-months just a few weeks ago.  My baby's growing up!  She's now rolling over from both her belly and her back.  She's holding on to toys better and is for-sure a mommy's girl.  Autumn's such an easy-going baby and I'm so blessed by her.

Here are a few pictures I had done last week.  She's currently working on four teeth, so she wasn't thrilled to be there and she wasn't giving smiles that day.  But she's even cute while grumpy.

My friend, Stephanie, made the tutu for Autumn.  She has a fan page on Facebook called Cutie Pie Accessories.  Look her up!

30 Days

Today marks 30 days since Joel left.  I woke up feeling blah.  Grace came in my room to wake me up and by some sort of miracle, I convinced her to crawl in bed with me and read books.  So, she "read" a stack of books while I slept for a bit longer.  Right now I'm counting down the hours until I can crawl back into bed.

This past week, my best friend from college was here for a visit.  We went to a museum, the zoo, did lots of shopping, went on walks, played with the kids, drank gallons of coffee together, talked and laughed until we cried.  It was a perfect visit.  It's a blessing to have friends who you can be 100% honest with and 100% yourself with.  There are no walls and no masks.  Just complete honesty.  The ways friendships should be.

She left yesterday and my in-house grown-up companion was gone.  I realized how distracted I was when she was here.  I didn't constantly worry about Joel.  I wasn't anxious at night about being the only adult in the house.  I felt like me.  But now the worry and anxiety are back and I'm, well, lonely.

I shouldn't be ashamed to say I'm lonely.  I don't think it would surprise anyone to think that months and months without your spouse, would leave you feeling lonely.  But, there's something about saying it - admitting it to the world.  So there it is - I'M LONELY.  I want someone to do life with.  I want someone to cook for who appreciates it.  I want someone to talk politics and theology with.  I want someone to sit next to me while I read.  I want someone here to help with baths and help pick up toys.  I want someone to play with my kids, so I can sit for 10 minutes without interruption.  I want Joel here.

Hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

Joel - wherever you are today, I love you.